SNEAKS

By BRBY | March 13, 2009

I think a lot about footwear.
When I was a hostess at Macaroni Grill circa 2000 one of the senior servers told me to only sit people at his section who were wearing NICE SHOES. That comment made a lasting impression on me. He told me that you could tell a person by their shoes.
I think that’s really true. Especially for women. Let’s take a look at some shoes and what they make me think of.

 

cos i just dont feel like living anymore

cos i just dont feel like living anymore

When I see a woman wearing Crocs, I usually think she has given up on life.  Not only do they look PRETTY SILLY but it also means she is just ONE OF THE CROWD. 

perez was here too

Designer white high top sneakers. Usually (hopefully) worn by women under 30. Trying to be COOL, like ONE OF THE BOYS and show she has a comfy edge/does not need to look sexy/only needs to wear cool sneakers. 

Boatshoes/topsiders/loafers. This woman sails. Or wishes she sailed. Or wants to appear as though she sails. 

 

plz dont hate me

plz dont hate me

There is a lot of hate out there for Uggs. Let’s not hate on the college girl who needs her Uggs. She just has to get to class. I really feel for her. 

 

not enuf support 4 u

not enuf support 4 u

We all want to stay young and feel young forever. These help. We all also want to feel like prima ballerinas. These help.

 

lost in 2001

lost in 2001

This woman is nostalgic for a better time. When we didn’t have to make so many choices. Where all we had to do was find the grey new balance sneaker and we were IN. We didn’t have to choose a wacky color. This was it. We could run in these. We could drink beer in these (as long as we had hot jeans and sexy lace cami too). This girl will also wear flip flops year round.

This woman is from California. 

 

 

 

 

I hope you all enjoyed my FASHION SHOE COVERAGE. I don’t want to be a “fashion blog” but sometimes I feel like I have to cater to women’s tastes/desires/why we hate ourselves. I don’t want to stereotype us, but let’s face it, we let ourselves fall into these things. We should really try to differentiate ourselves more.

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CRUSHIN

By BRBY | March 11, 2009

So like, I am totally boy crazy right? And yet–def do not show enough HOT GUYS on this blog. Don’t want you guys to think I’m a lezzy….or a MAN HATER. 

But when it comes to guys, I have pretty UNIQUE tastes. I hate assholes, douchebags and anyone everyone else likes. Sometimes I go for an ugly dude who is just really sweet and nice inside. Usually he is sweet and nice because he is ugly. But I am really good at seeing THE SOUL INSIDE. 

Good looking guys are usually jerks and don’t have artistic souls. I want a guy who loves me AND is a TRUE ARTIST. Not a pretender. Here are some guys I would def give head to who probably most girls would totally ignore. STAY BACK THEYRE MINNNEEE

That dude from hot chip

 

i could eat u

i could eat u

He’s the only dude with balls enough to look at the camera. Everyone else thinks they are just like WAY TOO COOL to look at the camera. Love the hot chip dude because he has a unique sense of style that is part trashy, part hipster, part Kip from Napolean Dynamite. He also has the voice of the angel and makes me wanna  dance. 

Michael WHAT THE BUCK dude

 

givemeafuck

givemeafuck

Ok so I KNOW HE’S GAY. But he is still really cute and really funny. He is wild and crazy with enough self awareness to make him like tot awesome. He is kind of like ur gay bffaeaeae who you always wish would secretly turn straight so you could fuck and feel actually loved and not just like friend loved by a guy you really care about. 

That guy from all those crappy movies about pathetic dudes

This one is a joke. GROSSSSSSS. still pathetic, sorry.

Chris Brown

 

gonnabeatubad

gonnabeatubad

I know he did all that crazy stuff to Rihanna and all but like seriously, how can you hate the guy? He’s still totally cute and I love listening to his songs on the radio ON MY WAY TO THE CLUB. Pretty sure I can forgive him. And really, who doesn’t like being roughed around a bit? 

Guy from THE KNIFE

 

going to get u with this

going to get u with this

Some of my best college memories are dancing to HEARTBEATS at 3am with my closest guy and girly friends. It was wacky, it was beautiful, it meant everything to us. That said, his phallic masks always get me off in a Clockwork Orange kind of way? Want to raped by his nose. 

JOSH “TINY TOOL” ACADEMY

 

i believe in ur tool

I really like a guy who can REFORM and show me he is not BAD, he was just tortured and now he is a GOOD SOUL. I know he’s not a TRUE ARTIST, like the guys above, but I like any guy that will stand by the name TINY TOOL. It probably means he’s confident in his HUGE DICK, to not care that everyone is calling his TOOL, tiny. 

The Evolution of Dance dude

I know he looks kind of dorky guys, but he is a TRUE ARTIST. Besides being famous for dancing on YT he started VIMEO. I think. That’s pretty artsy and amazing. Can’t believe he dated Julia Allison GAH. She is so lame. He’s probably loaded too.  

Carles= HRO

 

who am i really?

who am i really?

 

 

Ok so I know that we don’t know what he looks like but it is really what it is on the inside that counts–remember. Carles is the TRUEST ARTIST. Sometimes when I listen to his podcasts/radio show I fantasize about his voice, depressingly drawing me towards him. We could have a good cry and then a good depressing fuck. He could teach me about like, music and I could teach him about REAL ART. I could interview him for my thesis. I think we’d have a really good time.

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FILTHY N CONFUSED

By BRBY | March 10, 2009

I have been pretty confused lately about the line between porn and art. I know it is supposed to be I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT, but sometimes I don’t know what it IS that I am seeing. 

I found this. I like this song. I think there might be a deeper message here.

The swirly-ness and obfuscation of the body probably relates to our inability to see YouTube lady as she really is. She is dancing and appears to be sexy but is hidden behind her glasses/wigs/music/costumes/ cool attitude.

Soon after, ran into this lady. 

I don’t know if this video is COOL and SEXY or just SCARY. I would not want to be chased and beaten to death. But maybe Naomi is like turning this stereotype around on its head to make us really think about violence against women and sexuality normally used in music vids to exploit women. But overall I am wondering if it is OK to show violence against women if like, a woman is making it. 

OK jk it is an art project. It is OK. I am glad she is wallowing in sleaze but like I guess it just makes me sad to think we’ve given up on life. Don’t want sleaze to be IT. Still looking for something MORE. 

I just still can’t decide whether its OK to use my body to sell myself or whether it is considered slutty/bad news. If I exploit myself is that empowering or just fucking myself/future daughters/ grandchildren /generations of women over?

It’s not easy when you’re me. It’s not easy when you’re me. 
Are we all just doing that dance [you] sluts?

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ALL YOUR BUTTS ARE BELONG TO US

By BRBY | March 9, 2009

Part of my research for my thesis in Creative Visual Studies entails looking at art that appropriates canonical works that have preceded it. Many artists often borrow the language of artists who have come before them to comment on the political undertones of where art has been and where it lies stagnant today. Here is an obvious example:

 

just wanted to make bootyful flesh

just wanted to make bootyful flesh

Above: Titian’s Venus of Urbino, 1538
Below: Manet’s Olympia, 1863

 

this is obvi about sex. i am a hooker btw

this is obvi about sex. i am a hooker btw

Finally, Morimura’s Portrait (twins) 1988

 

identity politics

identity politics

Morimura was a photographer who made a photo kind of look like a painting. He put himself in the photo–it kind of changed the meaning of the original.

I’ve been looking at some other famous photogs lately (okay just Lastnitesparties) who also seem to be referencing art history.

Here is Elizabeth Peyton’s Piotr from the 90s:

 

peter?

peter?

LNPs take on this famous painting:

Peyton’s is probably about gender/identity politics. LNPs is about the politics of nakedness/why should we have to wear clothes?

Lorna Simpson’s, You’re fine

you r fine

LNP version

 

you r hired

you r hired

Simpson is talking about racism today–mainly people’s intolerance and stuff. LNP is showing the fragmentation of young women today. 

There’s video art too. Paul McCarthy and Mike Kelley’s Fresh Acconci (just need to watch first min)

McCarthy and Kelley are talking about like Hollywood and sex via Vito Acconci.
LNP is just like talking about life and how we have to make meaning from it.

Here is a pop culture reference you all might get. Sorry if you feel like I am “educating” you about art.

remember us butts?

remember us butts?

 

there was 10 on the bed n the lil one said rollover rollover

there was 10 on the bed n the lil one said rollover rollover

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LOVE 2 HAVE BALLS IN MY PUSSY

By BRBY | March 4, 2009

I was looking for some artsy photo prints to decorate my apartment via Nylon’s SHOP HERE FOR COOL SHIT section and I found this pic and it made me really horny. I imagine this girl is me. I’ve fallen into a huge vat of gumballs and they’re tickling my crotch with colorful anticipation of a sticky FUCK. They flow between my legs as I roll around and I start to get nervous that I may never be able to leave this sweet sweet candy land. 

But these small balls wont do it for me. I need something bigger.

I love to have this big ball in between my legs. It makes me feel POWERFUL—like a man. I hug my big ball because I never want it to leave. I always want it to stay close to me–to remind me of what I lack. Pretty sure I’m still sexy tho

But I know the balls can’t stay in me forever.

Goodbye balls. I’ve got to let you go. I’m releasing you from my womb. You were my baby, my lover, my sex. You were nice/sexy/fun while you lasted. Try not to kill any baby birds on your way up. 

 

ill always remember u/be horny for u

ill always remember u/be horny for u

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TIT CANCER AWARENESS WEEK

By BRBY | March 2, 2009

 

Wanted to remind you all that its breast cancer awareness week. To help raise awareness for breast cancer, the Breast Cancer Foundation for Medical Research has come out with a new genetic line of pink dolphins. They will be swimming along the East Coast all this week to bring attention to women in need.

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SOMETIMES I GET SAPPY, SORRY

By BRBY | March 2, 2009

I got my period today. Been feeling pretty emotional—cried on my way to school when I saw some kids walking their new puppy. They looked pretty happy.

Whenever I bleed I get to thinking about all the failed romances in my life. I think about all the dates I go on with guys who just want to KEEP IT CASUAL. They’re not ready for SOMETHING SERIOUS. Don’t enjoy being serious but I do like knowing I won’t get herpes/crabs/HPV/AIDS from someone I’m fucking. Want them to only fuck me. Want it to be public knowledge. Don’t want to be just a BOOTY CALL. 

Feel like my life has been turned into a shitty movie about whiny/insecure/annoying women who are exagerrated characters designed to make me feel like I’m not so whiny and bitchy compared to them.

 

OR IS HE? FUCK

OR IS HE? FUCK

 

 

Reflecting on my childhood, TV always taught me that the boy will get his shit together. He will call you. He will be THAT INTO YOU.

The Jordan Catalanos in my life never held my hand in the hallway. They never made amends. They just dropped me when I got all mopey and frustrated. 

 

thats more like it

fuck u brby

Still working on finding a loser who will love me JUST THE WAY I AM, no matter what. Someone who VALUES me and knows he can’t do any better so why try? 

i need the nick cannon to my mimi

thnx 4 the drink babe

the dancing fat albert to my allegra

 

shake shake shake shake shake it

shake shake shake shake shake it

this dude to my charlize theron

 

thnx for letting me take the spotlight

thnx for letting me take the spotlight

 

If I can’t get a Jordan, I will take a doormat. As long as he is funny/eats me out alot

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WE’LL NEVER SURVIVE UNLESS: WE GET A LITTLE CRAZY

By BRBY | March 1, 2009

Had a really bad day yesterday. Accidentally erased my whole thesis from my hard drive. Forgot to back that shit up. Then I found out my family dog has cancer. Decided I needed to LET GO. Not care about life, or what’s right and wrong, what I’m supposed to do—just needed an ESCAPE. 

Went out for a night on the town with my girls. Got a little tipsy. Lost my girls. Found some dudes. They were really nice.

When I was tired/wasted they held me up. They paid attention to me when I was feeling down. They helped me with my clothes when I got hot. They shared their vodka with me when I needed it.  I feel like I finally found some true friends who will really BE THERE for me when I need them.

I knew they were true friends because even when I was like beyond SLOSHED they helped me to consume more drink. Couldn’t even stand up straight/hold my mouth open on my own. But they stood by/on/with me. They knew the night had to go on. We had to party. We were having a good time.

I don’t really remember what happened after that. I just kind of let myself go/went with the flow. 

Saw this dude taking the pictures of me–the ones you see here. Pretty sure he is a law student. He put these up on facebook for me (thanks chad!). Glad everyone was having a good time. I sure was. Felt a little OUT OF IT, but glad I had people helping me stay grounded/carry me thru the bad times. 

Did not know where I was when I woke up. But it was OK. I got to remember the night via these pics. I knew I had fun even if I didn’t remember having it. Thanks to all my new friends!!!!! love youz

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I AM AN NOT AN ARTIST: I AM A FACILITATOR OF GREAT THINGS

By BRBY | February 28, 2009

I was browser window shopping today and I found am app trying to sell me this cute camera. I like how the pic is all grainy, I know I will be able to take an artsy pic with that camera. Don’t need the camera to look all shiny and new–just need it to take romantic photos. 

Then I realized it was the man in the photo that drew me to it. I wanted the camera because I wanted the man. I wanted to know—who is he? Would he like me? Would I be sexy enough for him? Would he ever want to take some pics of me? If he is in “tyte” with the am app crew, he probably knows a lot of sexy girls. Made me surprised to see him with an older woman.

I know she has cool glasses and she seems really nice and all but I guess I’m just sort of confused about how things usually “work” in this world. Men are supposed to like hot young girls—why is HE with HER? It gets me really mad/jealous/confused. 

I worked out my issues when I went to his facebook page and saw this.

 

every1 belongs

every1 belongs

Pretty sure now this is a charity photo opp. Really glad this guy is so good to take time out of his busy day to MINGLE WITH THE LOCALS and make everyone feel OK about their bodies. Even though am app seems like a store for skinnies, its really not. That is just a misconception we have that we have to work to overcome. Really glad he is working to break down stereotypes about my shopping prejudices. love him even more.

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DROWNING

By BRBY | February 27, 2009

Sometimes I feel like I am drowning. I’m asleep somewhere, but it is an unfamiliar place–it is not my bed. My underwear and the underwear of other women surround me. I am screaming for help, for my life, but there is no answer—just a FLASH of light and a slow stream of water/vodka/diamonds/urine cutting my neck, filling my lungs. 

I feel as though thousands of people are looking at me, but I can’t see them. They are looking at me for fun, out of boredom, for pleasure and they want to be with me. They are jealous of me. They hate me. They want to know/be me, or someone like me or be somewhere that is just like this. I don’t know how to tell them that it’s not as fun as it looks. I don’t know how to tell them I’m not real. I don’t know how to tell them this is just a dream.

I’m exposed. I feel naked. I did this to myself, or maybe someone has done this to me. 

 

Suddenly, I wake up.
 

Thank God. I knew it was a dream. I’m alive. I’m here to party. I’m ready for the next EVENT. I feel so silly/embarrassed for being so scared/taking that so seriously. It was just nothing, it was just fun and games. No one REALLY wants to hurt me.

A kind tranny gives me some monies and a small mysterious white gift for my troubles. Is this for my asthma? Is it drugs? Is it some pretty baubles? My friend is happy for me. I am happy for her. We both are getting out of here OK. I decide I would do this/dream this again. I want to feel loved/alive.

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